Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
