Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
