i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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