So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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