As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
