it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize