I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Are we still banned from the library?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
