What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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