Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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