Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize