You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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