My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
