it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
