Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this will be a night to untag.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
