Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
