Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
