Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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