I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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