We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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