why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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