White coat. Heels.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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