You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
