Kiss
Puke
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
