Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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