She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
