my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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