Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
