So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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