that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
