FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
