I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
