Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish I only lived at night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
