Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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