I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
