you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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