He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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