this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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