that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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