i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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