if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize