I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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