Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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