Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
