So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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