forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i would punch a child for taco bell
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Drunk walkin through police station. America
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize