Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
