Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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