Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize