I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
