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theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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