don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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