Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
