now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
