i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize