whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
