I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
