Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize