I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
