and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
