so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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