Plan B is the new Plan A
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
