i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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