DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
