There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
